selfish faith

Tonight i think God has brought me back to a pretty healthy discomfort. I can't help but be agitated by what God says about the world i live in. The fact that there is a difference between the ungodly and the godly really bothers me. Honestly, it hasn't bothered me in a long time, but tonight has been different. The fact that i can maintain real relationships with people who don't know the Lord with no compulsion to speak truth into their lives really scares me. I am selfish with Jesus. Somehow i have bought into the lie that somehow, in some way, the Lord will find his own way to reveal himself to each individual. But that's not the great commission. God has found his way and its me. Well, its supposed to be me.

Life or death hangs in the balance. I know that's heavy, but the truth usually seems to come that way. I am not a doom or gloom, turn or burn Christian, and i have no intention of becoming one, but i would love to love people better.

Selfishness is not really a static thing. It comes in many forms. I was blown away at the beach the other day to overhear some models talk almost endlessly about the curves of their bodies. Tonight i am blown away looking at my almost endless efforts to improve my own life with God. These are two different realms of selfishness, but selfishness nonetheless. Mine sounds like pretty pious stuff, but its not. My life is great, but my lack of concern for others is straight selfishness.

Word of the night... "For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it" Mark 8:35