In the last week, i have failed God on more than one occasion. It may be many, many occasions actually, but a few stand out. I am not sweating it, because God has already made me new on those points, but trust is still at the forefront of my mind. Am i trustworthy? God can clearly see that i am not.
God giving his Spirit is not a riskless venture. If there was no risk of pain or rejection on God's part, the Word would not warn us about "grieving the Spirit". The very fact that it can be grieved speaks about God's vulnerability in trusting us with his Spirit. This is seems like a very unguarded demeanor for an all-powerful God to have. But he does not entrust himself to just anyone (John 3:24). God takes good risks with his Spirit. And we really are a risk, love is always a risk. It's like the way no one bears their soul to a sketchy, unstable person. We are generally not attracted to people who exploit us.
On a deeper level I know that God really does trust me. I have his Spirit, and thats a large, large entrustment. But it's not a trust that by any means expects perfection. Just like i would be insane to expect perfection from a spouse who i would entrust my heart. Emotional pain in inevitable in marriage, yet it is a good risk because the joys outweigh the hurt in a huge way (in a good marriage). God knows i will fail many times over, and for some reason he does not pull his Spirit from me in anticipation of it. In the arena of love, the prospect of true love is always worth it. Love is more beautiful than pain is devastating. This must be the belief in any intimate endeavor.
I am trusted. I am loved.
"The Lord confides in those who fear him, he makes his covenant known to them." Ps. 25:14
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